Carpe Diem

Every cloud has a silver lining. For instance, me, sitting at home, jobless. That is a massive cloud at 25 years. But you know I got to thinking one day, I really want a job and I don’t have one, what I should do is use this time to find something I really want to do that I won’t be able to when I do get a job.

So I’m going back to my Spanish. I started a while back but I stopped because I was going to university and my attention was totally diverted. Now I have the opportunity so this time I’ll have it rolling off the tip of my tongue.

Then there’s programming, another interest of mine. I wanted to write a computer program a while back but I didn’t know what it would be. After my national service, I got an idea to make it a little easier on teachers in managing the exercises of their students. I got this book, Visual Basic 6 for Dummies from an uncle of mine and I’m slowly, very slowly but surely on my way to writing my very first computer program.

I’m also going to put a bit more effort into this blog of mine. I like writing and this is a great way of exercising my writing muscles. I’m also going to learn Latin, because I wanted to add an unusual skill to my repertoire plus most modern European languages are a kind of spin-off from Latin so learning their origin, I always say, will help me better understand their present state.

I’m also thinking about a Masters degree in marketing so this is a chance to learn as much as I can about it. I also want to learn how to be a better conversationalist (if there’s such a word). I am hopeless at that, other guys can do it so effortlessly and have girls laughing and stuff, me, well …

And I’ve started exercising my legs, all my life I’ve been skinny and I don’t mind much but my legs have got to have some bulk to them, so now I’m into bodyweight leg exercises. I read somewhere that exercising your legs alone affects your upper body and since I don’t want to have the Johnny Bravo physique, I’m starting from the bottom up and I’m using this as a way of experimenting to see if the claim is really true, but that is another blog.

Most of all I’m not really into working for someone, I want the freedom and the drive that comes from doing your own thing, knowing it depends on you to make it work and since it’s something you love doing, it’ll really push you to work real hard at it. So I’m writing proposals to develop locations, that have potential, into ecotourism destinations.

Also to start a reforestation program for areas that have had their trees felled. My ecotourism lecturer always encouraged us to go out and set up our own business because it is still quite young in Ghana and being a degree holder you can’t go join a company and be a tour guide or something.

It’s an opportunity to prepare myself for reaching the places I want to reach and doing the things I might not have the chance to do if I had the regular 8 to 5 thing. I call it my ‘Carpe Diem’ list.

The Woman In Me

Women, I love them. I grew up in a house with six of them, across three generations, me being the only male in the house. Spending so much time with women I went about thinking I was the ultimate female companion, that no other man could understand them like I could. Imagine my utmost shock and surprise when my girlfriend tells me one day that I’m not romantic!

What?! Me?!  She gave me an example; one day I was busy when she called me and asked where I was, I told her. She came to my room and told me she was hungry. Tell me, guys, what do you do when you’re hungry? Me, I go out and buy some food, or fruits or maybe fix me a small dish (yes, I can cook, grew up with six women remember?). Being a guy, presented with a problem, straightaway I looked for a solution. I just presumed she didn’t have enough money on her so I gave her some to go buy something, I felt satisfied thinking the situation had been contained.

Later she tells me I handled the situation terribly, (she was serious about this too, kind of complaining) she said I should have gone more along the lines of sympathizing with her state, asked her what she felt like eating and then going with her to get what she wanted, she had the money, she had what she needed to cook, she just wanted to be with me, to get some attention, for us to do something together. She also said I was too “stiff”, that I didn’t take initiative, only did something when she asked me to, wanted me to surprise her more often, she went on and on, basically saying I should think more like a woman.

Shattered my world it did. Stayed up the whole night thinking how wrong I was about being the perfect female companion. She didn’t want to have to tell me what to do, and I understand, she wants to feel like I do those things for her not just because she’s asked me to but because I thought about it myself and I’m doing them from my heart, that way she knows I really mean them.

I am gonna try, be more “romantic”. I always knew getting into a relationship would require me to change but I had no idea it would be this much. So now I hold no illusions, I’m still learning, I  know I’ll never understand women, a friend of mine once said the best you can do is know that this is what they do, how they are, but you can never understand or know why. And no matter the situation, guys will always think differently from girls, it’s hardwired into us, from the moment we are born, even before, our hormones make sure of that.

The Roads That Lead

I am naturally restless, can’t sit in a single spot for very long. When I was a child my mother always used to tell me to sit still. Always moving around and fidgeting, curious about everything, always wondering what’s happening here, what’s going on there?

This makes it so much more worse not having a job, I mean forget about my ego, being the only man among three women and me being the only one without a job, I spend all day at home with nothing to do and I’m going crazy. There are so many things I want to do with my life, so many plans and ideas, but without a job, or money, I can’t do any of them.

One other problem is that I like freedom, being able to make my own decisions and not living by anybody else’s rules. I don’t want to have to wake up every morning and it’ll be like the same routine, I tire easily of monotony.

Because of this I haven’t applied for any job, not that they are there for the taking but I just don’t want to feel like I’m stuck in one place so that any other opportunities that come up have to be side-lined. I also want to start my own thing so I’ll have the drive and motivation to stick with it and know that I’ll feel the sense of accomplishment when I achieve my goals. Goals I’ve set for myself.

I decided not to be caught in the scenario of applying for a job and sitting waiting for a call that might never come. I feel like if I am actively doing something, I have that feeling that something is going to happen. I already started a few things on the internet to try and make money and I’ve written a proposal for a project.

I suppose I should apply for a few places, send out some to see if I’ll get any places and if I don’t like I won’t take it. So I’ll spread it out and see where they land me.

My Poetic Episodes

I write poetry sometimes, when i get inspired. Sometimes something happens and i want to talk about it but I don't want to really talk because I don't trust people a lot, but i just want to let it out somehow, so I write a poem. Or maybe when my mind wanders and I hit on something or other that makes me feel like "... why don't i write a poem about this?" Here's one of them i wrote after a lecture one day, when i was doing my BSc. The lecture was over and we were getting up to leave, I was still sitting though and for some reason I was looking at the girls and started thinking about how different each one was from the other but they were all beautiful. I wrote this when i got back to my hostel.

Beauty in very many ways

Each one different and unique

Much more than a thousand Mays

Curves, lines, voluptuous physique

All appealing with individuality

Variety combining creating spice

Some in unity, others with peculiarity

From sugar, spice and everything nice

Forms and shapes of different moulds

That change and turn to blossom and bloom

Showing every way, some shy others bold

Keeping marvel till the end of doom

I never give my poems titles, and I have the habit of writing where, when and why I wrote them.